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through his blurred vision. He screamed in anguish when they
lowered him to the floor, his arms no longer capable of bending
properly when they tried to arrange them in a more natural
position. A hand lifted his head, pressed a cup to his lips. He took a
desperate gulp and jerked back in revulsion.
Blood&
 No, he whispered, fighting against the hands that held him
despite his starved, weakened state. He didn t know what they
meant to do, but he feared it, certain this was the final step that
would cost him his soul.
Sharp-nailed fingers clamped onto either side of his head like a
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A DIFFERENT BREED
vise. They tilted his head back, forced his jaw open, and poured the
contents of the cup down his throat. Forced to swallow or choke, a
few trickles snaked down his throat. Satisfied, they released him
and let him curl into a ball on the damp stones as searing pain
knifed through his gut. Fever roared through him, and his
awareness narrowed to chills and stifling heat by turns and
continual agony, as if serpents devoured his insides.
Rage curled through him even through the fever. Every fiber of
him rebelled at being forced to partake in this hellish game she
played. Soon the hunger reared up to shut out all else. It swallowed
sense and buried the rage in a dark chasm. Vague recollections of
suckling at her breast in some gruesome parody of mother and
child haunted his nightmares, and each time she fed him, he grew
weaker. Finally, darkness closed around him, blissful peace he
hoped would be the end.
When his eyes snapped open, his heart pounded. He had a brief
moment of clarity where he realized his arms had healed and she
lay curled up against his naked body. She held a young man by the
throat, ignoring his struggles to free himself.
 My love is awake, she said with a sparkling laugh.  Come,
we will share your first meal.
Her voice brought the rage surging up from subterranean
depths. The hunger rose with it in a titanic wave that crashed upon
him and drowned all that was Richard. He seized her head and
with a bone-rattling roar, ripped it from her shoulders. The young
man who was to have been their feast fled screaming while
Richard drank from the blood spouting from her severed arteries.
Her blood no longer satisfied the hunger. He howled in frustration,
joining the keening from all over the castle. Her blood children had
felt her die.
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A DIFFERENT BREED
He lurched from the bed, snarling, desperate to satisfy the
agony of need. Retribution stalked the castle s halls that night until
all the screaming ceased.
* * *
That sure as hell explains a lot& Josh sat with his arms on his
knees, leaning forward to catch the final bits of Richard s story
since his voice had dropped to a choked whisper.
 When I came back to myself, when I found thought again, I
was kneeling in the stable courtyard with a boy across my lap. His
throat had been ripped out. I killed them all. The countess. Her
crazed men. The scullery maids. The kitchen help. The stable boys.
Everyone. Like some monstrous tidal flood, I killed without regard
for innocence.
Richard still knelt with his head bowed, his hands in his lap.
The sorrow rolled off him in waves, and Josh barely kept himself
from flinging his arms around him and weeping. Richard didn t
need that.
Josh spoke softly and chose his words carefully.  You know
I m not a priest. Can t do the te absolvo thing.
 No. I know.
 And I can t make it all better if it still hurts so bad.
 No.
Josh took Richard under the chin and forced his head up. His
voice took on a sharp note.  Did you tell me all this to try to scare
me? Let me see what a big, bad vamp you are so I d run
screaming?
Long-lashed gray eyes regarded him steadily.  I don t believe
anything would frighten you. I never thought you would be afraid.
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A DIFFERENT BREED
Revolted. Disgusted. But not afraid.
 How old were you then?
 Twenty.
 Okay, so this completely shitty thing happens to you, that you
don t have any control over, when you re not even old enough to
go to a bar. Yeah, it was awful and you did some awful things
when you were out of your head. You think maybe it s time to let
it go?
 I can t. Richard tried to pull his head away but Josh held
tight.  There is always hunger below the surface. Some day it
might happen again.
 Yeah, I get that. So has it? Ever happened? You even get close
to losing control again in, what, nine hundred years? Kill some
babies and shit?
Anger sparked in Richard s eyes.  Never.
Better. Come on, babe. Enough with the pity party.  So you go
around walking on eggshells for centuries, making sure you remind
yourself that you re a bad person  cause you were supposed to be
one of the good guys. You were supposed to be infallible, the
white fucking knight! And your pride still hurts after all this time
 cause you weren t the hero! You couldn t pull off the fairytale
miracle, so you have to play the martyr and flog yourself over
something you can t fucking take back now!
 No! Richard snarled and surged up to pace the room.  I
killed! The potential is there, always there under the surface! I
have to be so careful. I have to live to atone for what I did. I can t [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]