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for not having put your sensitive soul to such a cruel test. You know
how dear she was to me. Imagine, Monsieur, that I have watched her
for almost two weeks nearing her end in the most intense pain.
Finally God has, I believe, taken pity on her and on me. The poor,
sad girl is still alive, but surely not for much longer. Her strength has
gone, and although her pain has in fact subsided, the doctor says that
it is so much the worse. She hardly speaks now and her eyes can
barely open. All she has now is her patience that has not abandoned
her. What will become of us if her patience gives out? My hope that
she would get better faded rapidly. An abscess formed on her side,
Preface 175
which had been surreptitiously growing since her fall. She could not
bear its being lanced when the time came, and when she finally
agreed, it was too late. She can feel her last moment approaching.
She sends me away, and I have to admit that I am in no state to watch
this spectacle. She received the last rites last night between ten and
eleven; this was at her own request. After the sad ceremony, I stayed
alone at her bedside. She could hear me sighing, she felt for my
hand, which I gave her, she took it and lifted it up to her lips, and,
pulling me towards her, said so softly that I could hardly hear her:
 Mama, one last favour.
 What is it, my child?
 Bless me and then leave. She added:  Monsieur le Marquis...
Be sure to thank him.
These will have been her last words. I gave my instructions and
went to a friend s house, where I am waiting constantly. It is one
o clock in the morning. Perhaps we now have a friend in heaven.
I am, Monsieur, respectfully your very humble etc.
Signed, Moreau Madin.
The previous letter was written on 7 May, but it was not dated.
LETTER
from madame madin to monsieur le marquis de
croismare
The dear child is no more, her sufferings are ended, and ours may
have a long time still to run. She parted from this world and into the
world where we are all awaited, last Wednesday, between three and
four o clock in the morning. Just as her life was innocent, so her final
moments were peaceful, despite everything that was done to trouble
them. May I thank you for the affectionate interest that you took in
her fate; that is the only duty which remains for me to do for her.
Herewith all the letters that you graciously wrote to us; I had kept
some of them and I found the others amongst the papers that she
had handed over to me a few days before she died. The papers
contained, as she explained to me, the story of her life with her
parents and at the three convents where she stayed and an account of
176 Preface
what happened after she had left. I shall not be able to read them for
some time yet. I cannot look at any of her belongings, not even at
what I had given her, as her friend, without feeling great pain.
If I were ever fortunate enough, Monsieur, to be able to help you
in any way, I should be flattered if you remembered me. I am,
Monsieur, with the feelings of respect and gratitude that are owed to
men of mercy and kindness, your etc.
Signed, Moreau Madin.
10 May 1760.
LETTER
from monsieur le marquis de croismare to
madame madin
I know, Madame, what it means to a sensitive and caring heart to
lose the object of one s affection and the privileged opportunity to
bestow favours so worthily earned both by misfortune and by the
charming qualities which were those of the dear young woman who
today causes your grief. I share that grief, Madame, with the greatest
emotion. You knew her, and that is what makes your separation from
her so hard to bear. Even without having enjoyed that advantage, I
was keenly touched by her misfortune and was able to anticipate the
pleasure of being able to add to the peacefulness of her existence. If
God has ordained it differently and seen fit to deprive me of that
longed-for pleasure, then I must praise him for it, but I cannot be
unmoved. You have at least the consolation of having behaved
towards her with the noblest feelings and in the kindest possible way,
which I have admired and which it would have been my ambition to
emulate. All I feel now is the keen desire to have the honour to meet
you and to tell you in person how enchanted I have been by your
grandeur of soul and with what respectful esteem it is my honour to
be, Madame, your very humble etc.
18 May 1760.
Everything relating to the memory of our ill-fated friend has become
extremely dear to me. Would it be asking too great a sacrifice of you
to ask you to send me the memoirs and the notes that she wrote
Preface 177
about her various misfortunes? I ask you this favour, Madame, all the
more confidently since you indicated to me that I was entitled to do
so. I shall be sure to send them back to you, together with all your
letters, at the first opportunity, if you so wish. Please be kind enough
to send them to me via the driver of the Caen coach, who stays at the
Grand Cerf, rue Saint-Denis, in Paris, and departs on Mondays.
Here ends the story of the likeable and ill-fated Sister Suzanne Saulier
(known as Simonin in the story and in this correspondence). It is [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]