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Ever. I'm . . . barren." His chest rose and fell heavily. His jaw went hard, like his eyes. Barren. "How
long have you known?" he asked in a deadly quiet tone. "Did you know when you married me?" This
was going to be the most damning part of her confession, and he was taking it every bit as hard as
she'd expected him to. She couldn't blame him. She was shattering his dreams. "Yes," she said,
shouldering the responsibility. His breathing was suddenly audible. "Didn't it occur to you that I had
the right to know?" She cringed inside at the accusation. "Of course you did," she said heavily. "But I
knew you wouldn't want me if you knew the truth." Her eyes closed, missing the expression that
crossed his face. "I loved you so much. I thought, God forgive me, that I'd steal a little happiness."
She managed a smile as she lifted her misty eyes to his cold ones. "But it all went wrong even before
you knew, didn't it? I loved you, but you only wanted me. And after that night, when I was aggressive,
you never wanted me again." She shifted nervously on the bed. "You've been looking for an excuse to
send me away, but you couldn't find one. Now you have it. You want children and I can't give them to
you." She lowered defeated eyes to the bare wood floor. "I'm sorry." He ground his teeth together. He
couldn't get past the fact that Bess was barren. All these long years he'd wanted no one else. He'd
married her and she'd sworn undying love. But she could lie to him that easily, she could deceive him.
He'd been so besotted with her that he hadn't questioned her about why she hadn't become pregnant.
He should have realized that something was wrong. God knew, she'd always turned aside his remarks
about children, and she'd seemed depressed whenever she saw him with children. "You knew how
badly I wanted kids," he said with barely controlled fury. "You owed me the choice." "I know that."
She wiped away the tears with a shaking hand. "I just don't quite fit in here, do I? she asked with a
tremulous smile. "I've tried. But you only want Lariat and those heirs you talked about to carry it on, I
understand, really I do. I had dreams too. . . " Her voice trailed away and the tears came back. Her
eyes closed. "I know you won't want me here anymore. I can ... I can leave tomorrow if you like."
Even as she said it, she was hoping against hope that he'd ask her to stay. "That might be the best thing
for both of us," he said coldly. "You can get your apartment back, or one like it, We'll work out the
details later." "You mean, about a divorce," she said with forced calmness and nodded, missing the
shocked look on his face. "Yes, I think that would be best too. I'll . . . I'll call Donald when I'm settled
and he can get things started." She swallowed tears. "You don't have to worry about alimony. There
isn't such a thing in Texas." "Why didn't you tell me, damn it!" he demanded, anguish breaking through
the calm. "I thought you might care enough about me not to mind," she said, refusing to look at him. "I
thought I could be good enough in bed to make you ... to make up for what I couldn't give you. But that
backfired, too, because you don't even want me anymore." Her voice broke and she bit her lower lip
to slop from crying aloud. Cade's face contorted. He stared at her, conflicting emotions tearing him
apart. He had to have time. He had to deal with it. He couldn't do it now, it was too fresh a wound.
She'd lied to him, she'd married him under false pretenses. She said she loved him, but she hadn't
trusted him with the truth. "No, I don't want you anymore," he replied tersely, striking back out of
wounded pride and pain. "The woman I wanted doesn't exist anymore. She was sweet and kind and
loving, not an aggressive little liar." The words hit her like body blows, but she sat there calmly
staring at him until she could speak again. "Is that what you thought of me?" she asked, laughing
painfully. "I thought . . . men liked that sort of thing." She took a shaky breath. "Well, I'll know better
next time, won't I? If there is a next time." Her world was collapsing, but she couldn't, didn't dare,
break down. She felt sick from her head to her heels, and weak as water. "Lots of luck. Maybe Ryker
is still free," he said. His face contorted for an instant as he looked at her. "He might be just your
style, society girl, and he probably wouldn't mind not having kids." Her eyes closed and tears slipped [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]